I remember talking to a lady about marriage, who expected me to tell her that God said she is my wife; but I disappointed her. I instead told her I hadn’t heard anything from God, but that I really liked her and I would want to pursue the option of marriage. We men need to stop lying and say what’s on our minds. I believe lack of responsibility is a major reason why we lie against God in the area of choosing a future partner; it ensures someone to blame when trials and hard times come. Please be yourself!
The issue of love is not about I love you, you love me. No. Love is about me being willing to die for you, even when all things seem to turn against you. It’s so disappointing to see marriage losing value in our society today. It is heartbreaking to see a young girl of eighteen years, incapable of feeding her very self, already a mother. It’s like a child giving birth to a child. This is a shame! I have come to realize however, that marriages are failing because of our conception of what love is. Love expresses you and expression in architecture is known to be the communication of quality and meaning.
The functions and techniques of building are interpreted and transformed by expression into art; just as sounds are made into music and words into literature. The nature of expression varies with the character of culture in different places and times, forming distinct modes or languages of expression that are called styles. Your manner of expression must be interpretable, which you don’t achieve by just saying it; you must also feel it, as well as be passionate about it. Now the passion you have towards that person is what is generally interpreted to be value. And of course if you are passionate about someone, you will definitely value the person.
We must not forget to remind ourselves that love is a choice and not by force. Any love that is not active power controlled by will is nothing but irrational; and love is not irrational. Love is recognizing a unique value in someone and being willing to place the highest value of all on that person without counting the cost. Love is the simplest word in the world and yet complex to understand. Love was first mentioned in the Bible when Isaac said, “…make me savory food, such as I love, and bring it to me, that I may eat. That my soul may bless thee before I die.” And it was mentioned by God, “as many as I love, I reprove and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.”
If we look closely to these two scriptures, we will see that both Isaac and God were passionate about their love towards the person. So also ours must be towards the person we profess to love. Songs of Solomon gives much account on the power of love I recommend you read it and tell it to anyone you love and care for.
Gary Smalley and John Trent once said that:
Affirming words: Gives hope and encouragement to the listener.
A Meaningful touch: An embrace or a hand on a shoulder communicating care.
Expression of high value: A statement on the value that person adds to everyone.
Vision of a special future: Provides word pictures that communicate potential.
Application of genuine commitment: Do everything in your power to see that blessing comes to pass.
Until we know all these and are able to implement them effectively, we might likely not get anywhere in our love life, either before or after marriage.
